


Vulnerable Temptation

by Amberina



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-07-19
Updated: 2003-07-19
Packaged: 2017-10-23 04:45:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/246398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amberina/pseuds/Amberina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tara shouldn't want Buffy, of this she is sure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vulnerable Temptation

Tara shouldn't want Buffy, of this she is sure. Tara has Willow, and she loves Willow - she really really does. Willow is everything to her - *everything* - and she wouldn't dream of ruining that with. What is this? What exactly does she feel for Buffy?

Respect. Admiration. Lust.

She can think of many things she feels but she can't summarize it accuratly in a short, compact phrase. She needs to be able to do that, before she can just push it out of the way and get over it. Which is what she really does need to do.

For Willow. Her darling, sweet Willow, her heart and her soul. For Buffy, who doesn't need to know about this. She doesn't need to know that lately when Willow touches her it's been Buffy on her mind. No one needs to know that.

Tara's ashamed. She has so much - more than she's ever had before, and she's in love. She's with someone special, someone she *knows* is her soulmate. And still her eyes, and her fantasies, and even her heart is starting to wander.

That's what scares her the most. She can brush the fantasies off as normal, but it's the actual feeling she's starting to develop that frighten her the most. That's what makes everything more complicated, and what's making it harder to just figure out what to call it.

She doesn't love Buffy - she could never love anyone like she loves Willow, but - she doesn't love Buffy. That's not it. But there's something there, something that makes her breath catch in her throat when Buffy is near, something that makes her heart beat faster, something that makes her want to cry.

But she doesn't cry, because she that would be wrong. She can't allow herself to cry. That would mean things she's not sure she can handle.

And later, when Buffy opens up to her, and Buffy cries to her, and Buffy's head is in her lap (oh the thoughts, they are bad) Tara does what any woman in her situation would do. She comforts her and she really didn't mean to kiss her.

She didn't.

But she did kiss her, and she did let her hands wander around Buffy's body, and she would have taken it as far as Buffy would let her if it wasn't for the voice in the back of her head screaming that this was wrong.

But it wasn't wrong. It wasn't. Not anymore. Tara wasn't with Willow now and there was nothing stopping her from -

From what? What did she want to do to Buffy? She had thought about it so much but now - now she had her chance and she just couldn't bring herself to . . .

Tara moves away from Buffy and the slayer looks at her with red-rimmed eyes, her face puffy and she's just so vulnerable right now and - Tara can't.

"I have to go," Tara says softly.

And she goes. And she thinks that she's made the biggest mistake of her life. But she doesn't go back.


End file.
